Do I Remember?
by ThePerfectOne
Summary: Lily and James are thisclose to getting married when James dissapears. Will he return? And if he does will he have any memory of his former life? Will he remember Lily?
1. In which Lily goes from happy to sad

Lily lounged on the majestic purple velvet etched sofa that she and James had just bought for their new home. Their home. It felt strange saying it. They weren't technically living together yet, but in two days they would be Mr. And Mrs. Potter, and they would share this house. James had surprised her with it for her birthday two months ago. She had seen it in passing and fell in love with it. It had a huge porch, daunting chimneys, great stone columns and fabulous architecture all around. It reminded Lily of her favorite muggle novel, Gone With the Wind. She was Scarlett and James was her Rhett. She had wanted nothing more than to make the house their home when she saw it, and James had done it for her. He was always doing things that she didn't deserve.  
  
Lily had been lounging for hours now. She'd brought home a book from work and she couldn't teat her eyes from it. It was a wizard romance in which a young couples love was tested when the main character, Sierra, was lost at sea and returns a great deal of time later with no recollection of her former life. Could her young lover bring back the memories of the love they once shared?  
  
Lily turned to the last page and discovered that sadly, Sierra never remembered her love. Lily stretched her arms above her head and threw the book onto the table before sitting up and making her way for the kitchen.  
  
She heard clanking that grew louder and louder the closer she approached. Lily paused once she reached the doorway. James was standing over the stove stirring away at three pots before him. The counters were littered with countless ingredients and a great mess that she would no doubt be stuck cleaning later.  
  
James was humming softly to himself the anthem for the Puddlemore United Quidditch teacm, and was therefore unaware of Lily's presence in the dorrway. She silently crept up behind him and snaked her arms around his waist. He didn't flinch.  
  
Lily rested her head upon his back. "How come I never scare you?"  
  
James smiled. "I can always smell you. You smell like nothing I've ever smelled before. Like lavender and vanilla. I love the way you smell."  
  
"Liar," Lily huffed.  
  
James kept stirring. "I swear. Blindfold me in a room full of women, and I'd be able to pick you out based on smell alone."  
  
Lily got up on her tiptoes and placed a gentle kiss on the back of James' neck. "I love you."  
  
James turned around and wrapped Lily in his arms. "I love you, future Mrs. Potter." He kissed her quickly before turning back around to the stove. "How was your book?"  
  
"Depressing," Lily admitted while gathering plates from the cupboard and placing them on the table, "but utterly fascinating. I'm going to offer the author a publishing contract tomorrow."  
  
"Sounds great. You're going to make some new author very happy," James said as he dished up the two plates with his special pasta. He placed Lily's plate back in front of her and handed her a glass of wine.  
  
She savored the aroma of his pasta. She loved it when he cooked. "I swear you should have been a cook, James."  
  
He laughed and sat down next to her. He kissed her cheek. "But dear, I think you're the only one who appreciates my cooking."  
  
"That's not true. Sirius appreciates it too," she smiled.  
  
James shook his head. "Maybe, but Padfoot would eat dog food even in human form."  
  
Lily nodded. "Good point. But really, you're going to have to give me cooking lessons, sweetie."  
  
"I know. If you're going to be wife, you've got to know how to cook."  
  
Lily stuck out her bottom lip and pretended to pout. "You should have told me that before you asked me to marry you, James."  
  
James put an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. "Lily, I just want you to know that there is no one else I'd rather spend the rest of my life with."  
  
Lily turned and threw both her arms around James' neck. "Me too. I love you so much, James. I never dreamed someone could make me so happy."  
  
Lily let go and returned to her dinner. She glanced at James. The pin he wore on his shirt from the office was glowing. He was going to have to go to work. She frowned.  
  
James saw her face and followed her gaze to his chest.  
  
"Don't they care you're getting married in two days?" Lily queried.  
  
"Of course they do, Lily, but dark magic doesn't stop because we're getting married."  
  
Lily crossed her arms over her chest. "Well it should."  
  
James moved to her and placed his hands on her arms. He kissed her forehead. "I agree, it should. The whole world should stop for the two of us," he said as he looked her deep in the eyes.  
  
Those emerald eyes that he had fallen in love with. Those emerald eyes that he wanted to get lost in for all eternity. "But it can't, and I have to go to work."  
  
He kissed her on the lips, slow and sensual. He didn't want to come up from air, he didn't want to leave her, but he had no choice. The Auror business was his calling, and somewhere people needed his help. They needed him more than he needed Lily right now, but he guessed the gap wasn't that large. "I'll see you in the morning, Lily love. I'll be next to you when you wake up in the morning."  
  
"I love you, too" she called out to him as he disapperated to work. Gone in an instant.  
  
Lily sullenly went back to the tale and removed his plate. She covered it before placing it in the fridge. He'd be hungry when he got home. She took his glass of wine and poured the remainder into her own glass before placing his in the sink.  
  
Lily awoke the next morning to a cold, empty bed. She was a little surprised that he wasn't home from work yet. It was eight in the morning all ready. He'd been gone over twelve hours. Maybe he'd got caught up with paperwork. He was always complaining that he spent more time in the office doing paperwork than he spent out in the field.  
  
She rolled over and hugged James' pillow to her chest. His scent still lingered on it and she buried her face deep into the pillow to savor every little bit of him.  
  
Tomorrow they would be getting married. Tomorrow they would pledge themselves to each other forever. She would be Mrs. James Potter. Three years ago she would have never believed it.  
  
She had despised James during most of their time together at Hogwarts, but somewhere along the way, he changed. Or maybe it was just her who changed. But she no longer despised him, in fact, she fancied him, and they had spent their seventh year at Hogwarts inseparable.  
  
Lily smiled at the thought as the rose from bed and headed for the shower.  
  
Showers were a strange thing. Peaceful yes. Relaxing yes. But they also give you too much time to think, and somewhere Lily's shower had gone from relaxing to all out stressful. She couldn't shake the sense of foreboding that was hanging around her. She felt as if there were a black cloud hanging over her head.  
  
No, not just over her head, but over her entire house, over her entire life. She wanted to avoid the dark cloud as long as she could, to stay in the soothing warmth of the shower for the rest of the day. Maybe James would be home by the time she got out.  
  
Lily turned the water off at that notion, grabbed her favorite purple towel, and wrapped herself tightly in it.  
  
She hurried into the bedroom. Their bed was still empty. She left the bedroom and called his name. The only answer was silence. Lily closed her eyes and headed back to her room to get ready for work.  
  
Lily had found it hard to concentrate before coming to work, and she was finding it even harder to concentrate now that she was at work. Every time her phone rang she had the greatest urge to yell "James" into the receiver, but she managed to restrain herself.  
  
There came a soft knock on her door.  
  
"Come in," Lily said as she swiveled her chair around to face the door.  
  
It was her boss, Mathilda Nickels, an older woman, soft spoken and caring. "Lily, I've been hearing you're having a rough day. Care to talk about it?"  
  
Lily wondered how this woman could know anything. She tried hard to keep her work life and her personal life secret, but then again, she could never keep quiet about James. She loved him so much. "Oh, it's nothing really."  
  
"You needn't lie because I'm your boss, Lily. I can read your face like an open book, and I care just as much about you as I do my own daughter."  
  
Lily sighed and relaxed into her chair. "James didn't come home from work last night. Auror business, you know? Our wedding is tomorrow, Mrs. Nickels, I'm worried. I can't help thinking that something bad has happened."  
  
"That boy would travel through hell or high water to be near you, dear. I wouldn't fret about it. But, if you'd like to take the rest of the day, just stop by my office and let me know."  
  
Lily nodded as Mathilda walked towards the door. As Mathilda was leaving, a young man about James' age entered the office. He was handsome, but there were bags under his eyes. He hadn't slept all night, and was stressed. Stressed seemed to be an understatement.  
  
Lily looked up at him. It was James' partner. "Rupert," Lily yelled as she got up and gave the man a warm hug.  
  
Rupert tensed under her touch.  
  
"What is it?" she asked, taking a step back. "What's happened to James?"  
  
"You may want to sit, Lily," Rupert said, taking a seat himself.  
  
Lily hesitated before feeling her way to her desk chair. She never once took her eyes off Rupert.  
  
"We were called last night because a group of Death Eaters appeared near Durmstrang. We left to control the situation, they were close to the school, we needed to make sure none of the students were injured, but instead of running like the Death Eaters usually do when we show up, they fought back. We were holding our own, but James.James seemed to be their target."  
  
"Oh, God," Lily cried, covering her mouth with her hand and struggling to fight back tears.  
  
"He's not dead," Rupert said, answering the very question she was afraid to ask. "But he's disappeared. No one can explain it, and no one knows where he went. We've spent the whole night doing various locating charms, but there was no luck."  
  
Lily stared at him, dumbstruck.  
  
"I'm really sorry, Lily. I know the wedding was tomorrow. I'm sorry I had to tell you this, but I assure we are going to do everything we can to find him for you and bring him home safe."  
  
Lily just stared at him transfixed as he stood up. He gave her one last pitying glance before heading out the door.  
  
Lily broke down in tears as soon as he left the room.  
  
She didn't know how long she sat there, crying into her stationary, but she imagined it wasn't very long because Mathilda soon ran into the office and pulled Lily into a tight hug. "Rupert just informed me of the situation, dear."  
  
Lily began to cry harder and clutched onto Mathilda's sweater as if she too would disappear if she let go. James, her James was missing. "I'm going to have Gwen escort you home."  
  
Lily didn't answer, she just continued to cry into Mathilda's sweater. 


	2. In which Lily and Sirius have a moments

Disclaimer (Since I forgot it last chapter): I don't own any of the characters you recognize, though I wish I did, I could pay back student loans! (  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Lily was curled up on the purple sofa wrapped in a blanket James had given her. It was jewel toned and green, and James had told her it reminded him of her eyes.  
  
She hadn't moved since Gwen had escorted her home and that had been hours ago. Thoughts of James were running rampant through her head. The day they met, the day, or days, he asked her out, the day she realized her feelings towards him had changed, their first kiss, the day he asked her to be his girlfriend, graduation, the day he proposed. The memories they shared were abundant, and it seemed to her like every important event in her life, James had been a part of. Or maybe it was just that nothing else in her life seemed as important as James.  
  
James. Caring, gentle James. Jokester and Marauder extraordinaire, Prongs. Her dream wedding that was no longer going to take place. Her wedding. She didn't have the strength to call her guests and tell them what had taken place. She halfway hoped they would just read it in the Daily Prophet tomorrow and know not to come to the church.  
  
Lily's fireplace suddenly roared to life and she saw Sirius' head poke through the flames. He took a long look at her. "Then it's true," he said, stepping all the way through the flames. "He's really disappeared?  
  
Lily nodded.  
  
"Never thought it would be Prongs," Sirius said, more to himself than to Lily as he sat down at the other end of the sofa.  
  
Lily didn't look at him. She didn't need to have him look at her with those sad eyes. "Rupert said they were targeting him. What would the Death Eaters want James for?" She continued, though her voice had gotten incredibly quieter. "What would Voldemort want James for?"  
  
Sirius shrugged, "James is a powerful wizard, Lily."  
  
"He's only been an Auror with the Ministry for six months, Sirius. His superiors are more powerful than he is. Hell, Rupert is more powerful than James is." Lily's voice had been steadily rising throughout the conversation, and was now yelling. He had gotten her riled up. "James is reckless!"  
  
"Lily, would you be saying he was reckless if he would have come home last night? Would you be doubting his power if he'd come home?"  
  
Lily paused. A tear fell from her eye and she made no move to wipe it away. She was quiet before she spoke again. "I want to know where he is. I want to know that he is safe. That he is okay. That he's not hungry, or cold. I just want him to know that he is loved."  
  
Sirius reached over to Lily and took her hand in his. "He'll always know that, Lily. There is no love greater than yours for him, or his for you."  
  
Lily squeezed Sirius' hand and attempted a smile, but she couldn't manage it.  
  
"It's okay," Sirius said, noticing her sorry attempt. "It will take time."  
  
Lily leaned over and kissed Sirius' cheek before resting her head on his shoulder.  
  
"So where are you keeping your list?" he asked, looking around the room.  
  
"List?"  
  
"Yeah, you know, the list of those coming to the wedding?"  
  
"Oh." Lily laid back down. "I think it's on the desk over there. Why?"  
  
Sirius stood up. "Someone has to owl all those people and let them know the wedding is.postponed until further notice.  
  
Lily slowly sat up and stared at Sirius as he rummaged through her paperwork. He picked up a picture of Lily, James, and him and stared at it a moment before setting it down and continuing his search.  
  
"Sirius," Lily whispered, more than a little choked up. "How are you doing this? He's your best friend, I know this must be affecting you."  
  
Sirius returned to where Lily was seated and knelt in front of her. He moved his hand to caress her cheek and wiped away her tears with his thumb. "Lily, it wouldn't do either of us any good to both be in shambles right now. This is your turn to.mourn."  
  
Lily pushed his hand away violently. "I am not mourning," she spat, her eyes ablaze, "I would be mourning if he were dead, but he is NOT dead."  
  
Sirius remained calm. "I'm sorry. You know I was never was much for words. It's your turn to come to terms with this, and I'm here to see you through it. When you're ready to take care of me, I promise that you'll see what a wreck I am."  
  
She let out a small giggle through her tears and wiped them away hastily. "You are too good to us, Sirius."  
  
He stood back up, "I know. But what are friends for?"  
  
Sirius was walking back towards the table when two loud cracks made him whirl around.  
  
Remus and Peter were standing in the living room. Remus ran to Lily and held her. "I'm so sorry," he whispered in her ear.  
  
Peter hadn't moved. His eyes were glazed over. He looked ready to crack. He's always idolized James. "So, out leader, the original marauder has vanished. I hope this is his idea of a really great prank." He paused and looked around the house without ever moving. "James," he yelled, "You can come out now, James."  
  
He waited dutifully, but James didn't come. Lily broke away from Remus and approached Peter. He was so vulnerable, so weak. He was everything that she was. She stood in front of him, and he stared into her eyes with a semi- hopeful look.  
  
"He is coming, right?"  
  
Lily shook her head before grabbing Peter's hand and dropping to the floor. Lily and Peter cried together with Remus and Sirius watching over them, trying to be strong for everybody.  
  
The sun shone brightly over London, and Lily was late. She was always late.  
  
It had been two years since James had vanished, and despite the Ministry's best efforts, neither hide nor hair of him had been found. They no longer had the resources available to look for him, and even though they knew he was still alive, due to some Ministry secret they wouldn't reveal, they had moved his case to the Department of Mysteries where it was bound to sit untouched for years. There were thousands of mysteries that had entered the department ahead of James.  
  
Lily had retreated from the wizarding world sometime after James had gone. She could no longer stand the pitying glances she received wherever she went. And that was just half of it. She always had people pointing at her and whispering behind her back when they thought she couldn't hear them. But she could hear them, and she always heard the same thing, "There does that poor mudblood whose fiancée 'disappeared' two days before their wedding. They say he got cold feet, but I think he was ashamed to have proposed to a mudblood."  
  
She had been unable to deal with it any longer. She had grown to hate the wizarding world, and magic. It had taken James from her. She saw no advantages to anything that was responsible for taking your loved ones away. So, she'd made the decision to return to the muggle world. Mathilda set her up with a muggle publishing company, but made Lily promise she'd come work for Nickels' House, if and when she returned to the magic world.  
  
Lily thought the chances of that happening grew less and less with every passing day. She did, however, venture to Diagon Alley once a month to meet up with Remus, Peter, or Sirius. It had been their one stipulation if she were to be a muggle again. She couldn't deny them the chance to see her. She didn't think she would have survived without them.  
  
They were her only remaining ties to the world that she had called home for so long. She had long ago packed away her wand and all her magic books. She had denounced Hogwarts, and lived like a 'normal' girl again.  
  
She was due to meet Sirius today. It had been months since they had seen each other. Sirius had been rather busy with some new business venture.  
  
Twenty minutes late, Lily finally made it to the Leaky Cauldron and collapsed into the chair next to Sirius after giving him a quick peck on the cheek.  
  
"You're twenty minutes late."  
  
"Are you surprised?" she smiled.  
  
"Good point. I knew you'd be late. I planned for it. I just got here five minutes ago."  
  
She swatted him on the arm. They sat next to each other in silence. Today was two years to the day since James disappeared. They hadn't talked about him for a while. He didn't know if he should bring him up.  
  
Lily was playing with a strand of hair, looking at Sirius. He seemed to be wrestling with his inner self. They didn't have much to talk about; they kept in constant communication with daily owls. He knew about her muggle college and her social life, and she knew about his. There was only one thing they rarely talked about anymore.  
  
She spoke. "It's okay. We can talk about it if you want to."  
  
He relaxed and looked at her concerned. She had spent the first month and a half after James' disappearance crying non-stop. And then she had stopped. She had removed all of his pictures, and boxed up all of his belongings, and she had stopped crying. She had stopped talking about it, and more surprising, she had moved out of their house and into muggle London. She kept their house; she just didn't live there anymore. She didn't do magic anymore either. If James' name were brought up in conversation she'd ignore it and go about her business.  
  
Sirius watched her as she beckoned the bar keep and ordered a butterbeer for each of them and a shot of firewhiskey for herself.  
  
Sirius cocked an eyebrow.  
  
"I said we COULD talk about it. I didn't say I WANTED to talk about it." She downed the shot as soon as it hit the table. "I've missed that," she said, licking her lips.  
  
"How are you, Lily?"  
  
"I'm fine.I'm doing. Nothing is the same anymore. Nothing has meaning anymore. I'm surviving. I hate talking about this, I feel so whiny and dependent. I was my own person before he came along, why can't I be my own person now?"  
  
Sirius was trying his best to be calm. She shouldn't feel like this. She shouldn't feel guilty for being depressed. "You don't have to feel bad, Lily."  
  
She ran a hand through her hair, a trait she'd adopted from James. "Don't you think I know that, Sirius? I just don't know what to feel anymore. I'm making baby steps though, I swear. I've stopped wearing my ring, but I can't even look at another guy without feeling guilty. I want more than anything to be able to move on, but on the other hand, I don't want to move on at all."  
  
Sirius clasped her hand into his own. "It's okay, Lily."  
  
"It's not okay. I want him back. I love him more than anything. I want to know if he's dead or alive, or hurt. I want to know if he has a new life, if he's moved on-" Lily's tone had dramatically increased and the other bar patrons were staring at her.  
  
Sirius was growing uncomfortable. He almost wished he hadn't said anything at all. Everything Lily had been keeping bottled inside for the better part of a year was pouring out. He felt guilty. He wanted to drown at her voice; she was surfacing all of the feelings he felt as well. He couldn't take it anymore. "Lily, just stop," he yelled.  
  
She hushed immediately and stared at him, shocked.  
  
"We all miss him. We all want him back. We're all struggling with this. I want my best friend back," he murmured before collapsing, sobbing, into Lily's arms.  
  
"It will be okay, Sirius," she whispered, hugging him tightly. "We will get over this, I promise."  
  
Author's note: Thanks to all those who reviewed, you're the reasons why this chapter is up as soon as it is. And James, or is it just someone who looks like him, will be making their grand appearance next chapter! 


	3. It Can't be you, can it?

Lily sat at home twirling her wand through her fingers. Today had been rough. Sirius had finally released all the frustrations he was feeling. Everything he'd kept bottled up for the better part of two years he poured out to her today. It was time. It had felt nice for Lily to be able to comfort him as he had done so for her for so long.  
  
He'd got her thinking today though, and she wasn't sure he even really intended to. He had made her realize that she needed to start living again. She wasn't the person she used to be. She was a shell. A hollow, empty shell, and she knew James would be disappointed if he saw her like this.  
  
Lily reached for her phone and punched in a coworkers phone number.  
  
"Hello, Lara, its Lily. Is the invitation for a night out with the girls still good? Great, I'll see you soon." She smiled as she hung up the phone and took a few deep breaths. There was no time like the present to start living again.  
  
Like always, Lily was going to be late. She couldn't decide on anything to wear, and she was sure she'd gone through everything in her closet at least twice. She finally decided on a simple black dress and some strappy heels she hadn't worn in ages. She couldn't remember the last time she had gotten dressed up for anything that wasn't work related. She hadn't had time to fix her hair, but it had dried in loose waves. She threw on some minimal make-up before she ran out the door. She was determined to have fun. Or at least look like she was having fun.  
  
An hour had passed and Lily was miserable. She'd forgotten what clubbing was all about. Dirty men hitting on her every two seconds. Not so dirty ones trying to get her drunk so they could take her home. People cramped together in a tight space gyrating against each other to something they thought was music.  
  
Lily had wandered off the dance floor shortly after she had walked on to it and headed to somewhere she felt a little more comfortable; the bar.  
  
The bartender bee lined straight for her as soon as she sat down. "What can I get for you, sweetheart?"  
  
"Something lethal," she said as she watched him pour various liquors into a shaker, give it a shake and pour it in a glass for her.  
  
"Here you go," he said as he pushed it towards her. "It's on the house."  
  
Lily smiled her thanks and downed the concoction. Muggle drinks were nowhere near as potent as fire whiskey. Lily turned her back on the bartender and sat on a stool overlooking the dance floor. Everyone looked like they were having so much fun they were so carefree. She didn't know if she'd ever feel like that again. Well, she assumed she would if James came back, but with each day that passed, that IF was growing bigger and bigger. Lily sighed as she signaled for another drink.  
  
In a secluded corner of the bar two men sat gossiping about women.  
  
"Come on, man, let's go find some lays for the night." Dominic Jensen said to his friend pleadingly. His eyes scanned the crowd. "There's a hot little brunette over there, and she's got a cute friend."  
  
"Let's go," replied Travis, barely able to keep his tongue in his mouth. They looked towards their third companion who remained seated and rather disinterested.  
  
"That's okay. You two go ahead."  
  
They shook their heads disapprovingly before taking off for the dance floor.  
  
The third man sighed and sunk into his chair. He turned his head, and then stopped, transfixed. He saw a red-haired beauty sitting at the bar, alone, and he wanted nothing more than to talk to her.  
  
Lily was getting ready to go. She was bored and going out hadn't provided the great release she thought it would. She was more depressed now than she had been when she left the house.  
  
"Why so bored?" queried a voice from behind her.  
  
"Look, small talk just isn't my thing," she replied.  
  
"You're beautiful, you know?"  
  
Lily didn't turn. "Look, I'm tired of guys hitting on me, can't you just leave me alone?"  
  
"I could, but I don't want to."  
  
Lily didn't know what to do, the voice was oddly familiar to her, but she didn't want to deal with anybody right now, she just wanted to go home. She was going to give this guy a piece of her mind. She spun around but was definitely not expecting what she saw. Her breath caught in her throat and no words would form.  
  
"Ja.Ja.It can't be you." Her eyes were beginning to tear.  
  
The man standing in front of her was a spitting image of James. Hazel eyes, untidy black hair, the glasses, the tall lanky figure. He looked behind him, confused. She couldn't be talking to him. He'd never met her before because he knew if he had he would never have forgotten anyone as beautiful as she was.  
  
She grabbed his hand and kneaded it into her own, feeling his skin upon hers. "James," she whispered, "where have you been?"  
  
The man gently removed his hand from hers. "I'm very sorry, but I think you've confused me with someone else. My name is Justin Lang."  
  
Lily shook her head in disbelief. "Is this some sort of joke? It's me, Lily," she pleaded.  
  
He placed his hands firmly on her shoulders. "Look, I'm really sorry. I wish I knew you. I wish I was this James fellow, he obviously is very important to you, but I'm not. I'm Justin, deal with it."  
  
He immediately regretted what he said. Here was this beautiful woman obviously dealing with something very emotional, and he had just told her to get over it.  
  
"Sorry for wasting your time, Justin," she bit angrily wiping her eyes before turning and running out of the club.  
  
Justin watched her run out the doors, her red hair flying wildly behind her. He didn't want to let her go. Something inside him was urging him to follow her and before he knew it, his feet were taking him out the door.  
  
He pulled his coat closer around his body as he stepped outside. The weather had turned violently, storm clouds were brewing and it looked like it would rain at any minute. He thought it was rather odd, it had been pleasantly warm earlier in the evening. He didn't know where he'd find her, but he was drawn to her and he knew he wouldn't sleep until he spoke with her again.  
  
He walked to the park across the street; it was lovely at night, and stopped. He had found her. She was crying. He had done this to her, and he felt awful.  
  
"Lily?" he asked, hesitantly.  
  
"What?" She yelled, looking up. "Oh, it's you. Can't you just go away?"  
  
Justin sat down next to her. "No. I've made you cry, and I want to fix it."  
  
"You can't. No one can."  
  
"Talk to me about it."  
  
"No. I'm tired of bothering people with my whining about James."  
  
"It wouldn't bother me."  
  
Lily looked at him, he was being sincere, but it was too eerie. This was her James sitting next to her, only it wasn't. "Can you answer me a question?"  
  
Justin nodded.  
  
"Does Hogwarts mean anything to you?"  
  
Justin pondered the question. Was this a trick she was playing on him? What kind of crazy thing was Hogwarts? A person? A bar? He had no idea. He shook his head slowly.  
  
Lily closed her eyes and massaged her temples. How could this be happening to her? God was playing cruel tricks. She was silent for a great while. She stared straight ahead of her before she began speaking. And was she started everything just came pouring out of her mouth beginning to end. (Well, all the bits appropriate for muggles anyway.) She found she had told Justin everything with great ease. Things she couldn't even tell Sirius came pouring out. She had opened the floodgates and there would be no end until everything had cleared out.  
  
"I'm very sorry, Lily. I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like to go through an event like that," Justin expressed to her.  
  
She was quiet again. She was exhausted, both physically and mentally.  
  
"Would you like me to go?" Justin asked her.  
  
She shook her head and looked him straight in the eyes. James'eyes. "Can you just let me pretend for a little while?"  
  
Justin nodded as Lily leaned her head against his chest and he cradled her in his arms. 


End file.
